Lonely

For some reason today I just feel extremely lonely. I have been home, but I still have the feeling that people are talking about me and laughing at me behind my back. No, I am not crazy. I do not mean literally behind my back while I am alone. I mean people that are suppose to be my "friends". I have a feeling that something is going on that I do not know about. Something that I must have done or said that everyone agrees they don't like.

I know that I can only count on myself in this life, and that I have to be my own best friend, but a part of me really wishes that someone else could be that best friend for me. I just feel like even though some people may call me a friend or a best friend, that when it comes down to it, they would rather hang out with someone other than me.

All of this just leaves me feeling empty inside. Like I am completely hollow inside and it aches. I don't really know what to do. I feel like jumping out of my skin sometimes. I always have my parents, my sister and my boyfriend by my side, but that's just not the type of relationship that I am lacking. I just need an actual friend. A friend who sincerely likes who I am and enjoys my company. A friend who I feel the same toward as well.

Just lonely today...