Who is this me I speak of...

I know that I can be way too critical of others and their lives. I think that this happens because in reality, I am so critical of myself and truly trying to find out who this "me" person is.

I feel sometimes as if I am trying so hard to be someone that I am just not. Sometimes I feel like I am really being myself and it makes me so incredibly happy. I don't want to change like the seasons for every different person that I am in front of, or every group that I think that I need to impress. I just want to feel that happiness when I experience true individuality.

I am also finally choosing not to be surrounded with people who make me feel as if I cannot be myself. If I do not want to drive drunk, shouldn't that be applauded, not scrutinized?

I don't know.

Maybe they are right. Maybe because I do not want to be around people who rob others, do drugs and have bad attitudes, that makes me judgmental. That may just be me. Someone who judges others and has her "straight edge" moments.... but I just don't think so. I don't think those people are bad people. They are just people I choose not to be around. That is not a crime as far as I am concerned.

Someone once told me that if everyone around me feels that I have a problem, then I should probably stop thinking that they are crazy, and start looking deeper at myself. Well, I could be wrong and stupid for thinking what I think, but I would much rather be wrong and stupid, than politically correct and ignorant.

I am not really one who is eccentric or tries too hard to be different. I am one of those people who think that whether you conform to a trendy style, or a style you think is unique... you are still conforming to some type of style or ideal person that you think you want to be. Whether I wear Polo shirts and Khakis, or red and black striped tights and leather, I will be judged and labeled. It is just our nature as humans. So who am I? What label do I succumb to? I just don't know yet who this "me" is that I speak of.